Saturday, October 10, 2009

Chapter 3 - Keys

"What do you want to do today?" Mandy asked Johnny the next morning. "What, you mean after we do it?" "Yes, of course thats first."

"I'm in Milwaukee. We need to check out Jeffery Dahmer's house." he said. "That's what you want to do?" "Of course. I'll bring my camera, it will be awesome" The two made love then googled the address. "How convenient, its only three miles away from my house," she said.

The two hopped in the car and drove towards Dahmers place of business. The two finally arrive at an empty grass lot with fence around it, the addresses on both sides seemed to skip Dahmers apartment address. Nonetheless the two snapped pictures that were later captioned by Mandy as "Johnny and I in the place where Dahmer did his naughties." Johnny never knew naughty could be pluralized. Apparently it can.

The two got in her car and started driving away. Suddenly some crackhead started yelling something at them. Sensible people would keep going. Instead the two turned around and tried to capture a picture of the random crackhead. The stopped right in front of her. Stopped the car, popped up with the camera, took the picture and floored it away.

Unfortunately the picture never turned out. They both laughed always having a good story to tell.

Next the two decided to walk along the rocks and beach along the great lakes.

It was a slightly chilly windy day. However sunny. The walked down to the beach and looked out across the water. It was amazing. Johnny and Mandy felt closer and ever.

Mandy grabbed a stick and began writing in the sand. Mandy *drawn heart*'s Johnny.
They snapped a picture. And proceeded to walk along extremely large rocks. Between each rock there was a 6 inch gap the two walked over as they talked.

Mandy walked, keys in hand. The two continued to talk until they finally decided they were going to leave. Suddenly, Mandy dropped her keys between the rocks. The keys fell 6 feet downward, landing on a patch of sand under the rocks.

The two looked at each other, looked down, "What are we going to do?" she said with her hand over her mouth. Johnny was in slight shock for a few moments surveying the situation. His experiences allowed him to stay calm and attack the issue head first.

He did just that. Johnny jumped off the rock, landing in the sand. He noticed a small space between the rocks. He wondered. Could he fit through. Would he get stuck? If he did, the keys would be the least of their worried. Nonetheless, Johnny began to army crawl through a small pathway eventually allowing him access. He then backwards crawled and had successfully retrieved the keys.

"My hero." Mandy said. "You are amazing. In so many ways" she said kissing him.
"Lets get outta here", he said as he took her hand.

Chapter 2 - Johnny Met The Crew

Johnny returned home soon after. At the time he worked in the garden center at a nearby Walmart. Strangely enough he liked what he did, he worked outside part of the time loading hundreds of bags of mulch in peoples cars and the best farmers tan money never bought.

Mandy and Johnny continued to talk on a daily basis looking forward to the next time they could be together. The two spent endless hours on the phone, she often talking to him for hours as she was at work.

At the time she worked for a company that created the packages that travel agents offer to their clients. Mandy's job was to either approve or deny wether or not the client was entitled to a refund.

One day, Johnny figured a way to keep things fresh and create a solid position in Mandy's eyes. This was obviously not crucial to their relationship. But Johnny learned early on that its the little things that make all the difference.

Johnny logged onto an online flower company who would arrange a bouquet and have it sent to her in Milwaukee. Johnny knew that women love showing off their men to others. The site asked what the note should say. He thoughtfully sat there until it came to him.

I find myself caring for you more and more with each passing day.

Johnny got a call soon after the flowers had arrived thanking him and how she adored him.
The two talked all the time having many laughs and personal stories.

Mandy told all her close coworkers about this new man in her life. (Of course lying about the original meeting location.) She showed pictures and her friends approved said he was cute particularly catching the eye of one of her homosexual coworker. At one point saying "Bitch i'm gonna steal your man."

Soon after, Johnny was back on the bus to Milwaukee. This time she picked him up in Chicago and they went strait back to Milwaukee. He was there for five days. She had a rough plan of fun things to do together while he was there.

The next day after arriving, Mandy had to drop some paperwork off at work and took Johnny so he could meet her coworkers/friends. Each of them came out. An outspoken middle aged black woman named Brenda came out and met him saying. "Did Mandy meet you at a tavern?, Thats where she meets all the boys?" "Brenda! No I don't!"

Mandy's best friend Bobbie came down and greeted him saying it was great to finally meet him and she was excited to go for drinks. Another friend, Lauren, a tan, slightly heavyset woman in her early 30's was having serious man trouble. Johnny gave her a big hug, and apologized for the luck she was having.

"Jazz is coming down." one person said. Johnny says "I'm gonna give him a hug", "Do it" Mandy said. The tall homosexual Jazz came running out flamboyantly and Johnny hugged him as if being reunited with lost parents on Oprah.

"He had such a boner as I hugged him. I don't know why I looked down. But he seemed to be excited all over." Johnny told Mandy as they drove away.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Chapter 1 - Johnny Meets Mandy

Mandy started as a net friend. Johnny honestly never went online to meet women, but nonetheless spent a large amount of time on the computer. It was natural he would meet net friends here and there.

In one of the earliest conversations began with the normal conversation. Mandy initially didn't take well to Johnny. Seemed extremely standoffish but Johnny played it cool. Eventually the two exchanged numbers and what started as a phone call once a week soon became everyday.

Spring 2008

Johnny planned a little weekend trip to Chicago in which he mentioned to Mandy he planned on coming up there. She was from Milwaukee and it was merely and hour. Mandy had a great job, so she frequently dropped into Chicago to do a little shopping.

Johnny had planned on taking the Megabus, the best possibly way to get from St. Louis to Chicago. Mandy had agreed to pick him up and he would meet up with his best friend Dan later.

Finally Johnny had arrived in Chicago after a 5 hour bus ride. It was 8am. Bags in hand he called Mandy. "I'm almost there, be there in 5 minutes"

She pulled around the corner and he threw his bags into her car and got in. She was a lovely bronze tan glow to her, blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, and Johnny also couldn't help but notice her triple D bra size.

The two awkwardly joked, went and got something to eat. Harrys Hot Dogs which had a tiny skinny old man, most likely in his 80's. Served them a Chicago style hot dog.
The two continued to walk the city then finally decided to go back to her car. They finally make it back to her car. Suddenly, inside, there was a long pause. Their eyes met, they kissed.

Lovely. Johnny had to admit, this girl was very cool, he wanted to know her better.

A little while later the two met up with Dan. Dan was a strait shooter because he spoke his mind. Had little to no filter. The three of them decided to go shopping. Johnny figured he could use a new tie to make his outfit pop.

As they looked a ties, at one point Dan so casually says, "You guys having sex? I got a couple'a condoms in my back pocket if you want one." Without waiting for a response. "I'm gonna go sit down" he said. Johnny and Mandy looked at each other and both said, "Did he just say what I thought he said". They both burst out laughing.

Their adventure continued as they searched for a good pair of sunglasses for Dan. The three entered a store and Dan asked a flamboyant man working there. "Do you guys have mens sunglasses here?" "Yeah they're all downstairs on the lower level, they're unisex though", the man said. "Unisex?", the man replied "You know, like U-N-I Sex." Dan regularly got hit on by men, and usually did not pick up on it. This was an example of such instance.

Johnny and Mandys date went was going well enough that she invited him to come back with her for the remainder of the weekend to Milwaukee. Johnny accepted.

The two talked as they drove back to her place in Milwaukee. Finally they arrived.
She proceeded to show Johnny her place. A decent sized two bedroom 2 family flat. Clean, windows open, Milwaukee air made the house a cool, almost borderline chilly environment.

Something in the way the two were touching made it clear where this was going. Granted they knew each other, but not in person. This feeling was new.

They went to her room and began to kiss. It became clear what was happening. Johnny kissed her for a few minutes and proceeded to slide his hand up her short skirt which he had admired all day. After passionately kissing her as he pleasured her. Johnny reached in his pocket pulling out a condom. Mandy nodded willingly.

Emotions ran high, they became one for that moment.

After it was finished. They cuddled showing complete affection as if it was their usual afternoon nap session.

They made small talk, Mandy finally admitting she had not intended to sleep with Johnny during that first visit but it had felt right.

Johnny loved sex. However, he soon learned, Mandy loved sex as much as he, quite possibly more. The two continued to give themselves to each other for the remainder of the weekend taking small naps and watched tv between sessions.

The connection seemed so solid. They became closer as time rolled by.
Johnny was sad to come home but the next year and what was in store he never would have guessed.

Blog Structure

I finally decided how I want to work this blog. This post will act as sort of a key.

Essentially, this font the current text is in, represents the present.


Arial, is the past and will be written in 3rd person, not because I'm arrogant but I feel like stories sound slightly better when in 3rd person.

With that said.

Read On.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Johnny Drops The Ball

So basically I have been doing all types of research regarding best pickup techniques in bars and clubs. I literally have been eat, sleep and breathing pickup and extremely eager to field test all types of suggestions.

I call my wingman Mack. Mack is a 6'3" black guy. Some people seem to act slightly intimidated by him because he has that gangster rapper look to him. He has been my wingman ever since I turned 21.

There were many nights that Mack and I would hit the bars, split up, then hit on as many girls as possible with drinks flowed and enhanced our experience. These outings usually contained some type of adventure and ended with a trip to the strip club.

With that said, we have a history of gaming. I figured with all this new game knowledge I would have an extra edge and up my percentages of phone numbers and seeing these women again.

I also have a drive to not settle, I now will only settle for 7's, 8's, 9's and 10's.

Tonight we decide to do something different than our normal old thing and try a relatively upscale bar. We stroll around do some chit chat get a few drinks flowing. I see many beautiful women all around, many with their boyfriends, not that I cared.

Casually hanging by the bar probably the 2 hottest women at the bar came by and ordered drinks right next to me. With half a dozen lines programmed into my brain, suddenly I was blank.

I froze. I continued to drink my drink. Play it cool. Be a pussy.

Perhaps it was all in my head, these women were non-verbally saying "Please talk to us" and seemed to be hanging at that part of the bar a little longer than necessary, hoping I would break the ice.

I couldn't think of anything to say and they walked away. I suck.

A couple minutes later I realize this isn't getting me anywhere. We decide to leave and hit another bar.

As we hiked back to my car, we see a couple decently good looking girls in night attire round the corner, almost going into an alleyway. We become curious and follow them to a red carpet where 2 extremely large bouncers are standing by the door.

We end up sharing an elevator with the 2 girls, the prettier of the 2 made small chitchat with me as we came up. But then nothing more. Again I suck.

Mack decides I'm being a pussy. (He was right) This was unusual, I never freeze up this much. He decides to play a game involving one would put to females and the other would have to approach and we would take turns depending on how the sets went.

We decided to flip a coin. I won. He decided to sit and talk to 2 fat black chicks. In my mind, this doesn't count. Talking to two 3's does not equal even 1 girl who is a 6.

That shit was weak. He ended up talking to them for roughly half and hour and I stood and tried to look casual. I see a waitress, (I'd say she was an 8) sporting heels and a geisha dress.

I see her, I say... "Can I ask you something?" "You see, I have to grow a mustache for charity, I was wondering what kind would look good on me?"

She smiled half laughing and leaned in an said... "You know, you really can't go wrong with the Hitler mustache."

Then walked away.

I continued to suck at life for the remainder of my time there. I wonder now what I had to lose?

Now ironically as we are leaving the club Mack begins to call me out on being so lame and how obvious it was that I was not having fun.

We go snag some fast food. I say to myself, FUCK IT. What do I have to lose? The next place I am going to I am going to spit awesome game.

At this point Mack decides to meet up with a girl whom he was casually seeing. She said that she would meet us at another bar and her cousin would be there.

I assumed a couple things about the cousin who is tagging along. She's fat. She's ugly.

We get there her cousin is neither. She's probably an 8. Blonde. Large breasts. Wearing a floral dress.

I sat down next to her. I quickly pan around the bar and then say "Hey Mack..." I pointed across the bar at a guy. "Yep, thats the only other white guy here". "I now know how you feel when we go to other bars" He started to laugh because he typically says that same type of thing when we are at primarily white bars.

The 2 women at our table were also the handful of white chicks in the bar also. I began to game the cousin with the lines I had been trying to get out all night. I use the mustache line again and she barely laughs and begins to motion as if curling an invisible mustache. A few minutes in, she simply says almost cutting me off... "Yeah i have a boyfriend." I was like "Alright". And I continued to game her as if she hadn't said anything. Personally, she was pretty hot, her boyfriend was not there. As far as I'm concerned he didn't exist.

Mack and his girl started rubbing up on each other and kissing at the bar, I turn to her and say. "So talk to me, about anything... anything at all, just so I don't have to watch this"

At some points I directly said to her "Do you ever smile?" "Why are you so mad all the time?" "Lighten up, this is a fun place".

I figured I was on the bottom I couldn't get lower I really just need to give it my best shot.

We ended up heading out a little while later. I dropped Mack off after discussing our night and went home. I dropped the ball.


My name is Johnny Frost. No that is not my real name. I am not a nice guy.

I consider my life to be fun and unpredictable and finally worthy of documentation. I have many experiences and many more ahead.

This is a collection of experiences from my past as well as the present. These experiences have had names changed to prevent issues.